Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Encounter with Goddess

Mahi was a 20 years old girl referred by psychiatrist for multiple somatic complaints. She lost her father at the age of 2 and living with mother and elder brother in a tropical war afflicted country.
After initial interview and review of investigation I did not find any physical cause for her illness. To find out her problem I initiated trance with soft music, she saw small girl Brahmi, Vairagi , Sarawawti Durga, viashnavi and Laxmi (Indian Godesses). She went back with advice to continue meditation which she had been doing from the age of four.
She was born on the day of Goddess Abhirami’s birth day 24th February. On this day every year she witnesses Abhirami in her meditation, SHE plays Karnataka music or does Classical dance on her request.

Mahi’s unusual Birthday Gift of the year. 24th February

SHE appeared after one hour of meditation at 1030pm. SHE was looking at me but did not talk for long time, and then she said “I will give a great present to you, for good thing you must wait for long time. But I am happy with your prayer.
SHE closed her eyes and then touched her right eye and my right eye then SHE touched her left eye and my left.

SHE told you should see everything which I see. You should hear all sound and waves which I hear and you should feel everything which I feel.

Then you have to think deeply why this is? Why people take birth and die? Why is there happiness and sorrow?

Then she asked "Can you recognize me from others ? Now you can understand that everyone is depending on me. I asked why did you make the relationship between all human begins? Is it necessary?

She replied " I send all people to a act in a Drama, I give different role which are decided by their previous life"

Do you know who are you? And Who I am? I said "I am a soul and you are supreme soul.

She said Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist and Christians all are my children, no race, no cast; they are given by man to man. This is not your name and all of you must return your home which is in the heaven.

Some human will return early and others also must return. If they get knowledge of soul they return early. I will tell you the knowledge of soul which will help you to return to heaven early.

This is an extract you can think about these words. You must give up your ego and love your brother, mother and others, then your soul will be liberated from suffering, then you will feel like asking more questions.

This must come spontaneously, where did I come from and why did I come and who did send me here.
No anger, no love no sorrow, no sympathy no feeling, surrender to me then I will give happiness.

"O God if I am a room you will live in it,
If I am a cover you will stay as knife
Whatever you say I will do
Whatever you think I will think
I must pursue my words deeds and thoughts all depends on you
Om shanti.

22nd March
Since yesterday Devi is in my heart and she is controlling everything she is in my eyes I cannot speak myself this continued for a month.

18th April
Developed severe neck and head pain and was refusing to take Reiki. Next day she could not sit and went off from meditation due to headache.

June 11th Encounter with Goddess on Mah’s Word…

To My Dearest Mother,

First I worship your lotus feet. I will write about the incidence later. But I have to ask excuse from you. Because I didn’t believe you at that moment and, after that. I have asked some broken question from you. Before that incidence I argued with you and forgot my real life. I accept my all faults , but you are always my mother for all births, so I have the right to ask or argue with you. You know our Jaffna situation, those incidence changed me argue with you. I know your mercy, love and all other things. I hope you accept my excuse.
My all feelings, body and soul are given by you. Actually I didn’t think that I was a real devote of you. I thought I am a cover, you are a knife. This is Kaliyuga, so I didn’t believe that God can come in a physical form. I have no evidence but so much effect I have. Now you are my Guru. But you are always my mother. I didn’t know Sanskrit so I asked so many questions from you I didn’t want anything without athmaganana. If you want to give anything to my physical life of spiritual life it is you are desire.

You are loving, Dura

11.06.2007 6 pm

I was alone at home, my grandma had gone out to see a doctor to Wellawatta. Within 2 min of closing the door someone came, I looked through window, two monks to ask alms. I told house owner is out. Then I went to meditate in my room in front of Lord Ganapathi, while meditating I opened my eye to see HIS trunk became bright and heard a voice in Sanskrit “ Brahmani naari uthiyanam”. I didn’t understand the meaning so send a SMS to Dr Deb. Then our door bell rang, looking through window I saw a Hindu lady wearing yellow sari, kumkum and santhana. She wanted to speak to me, but I was scared to open the door as my Grandma advised. She called me again “Thura open the door I want to speak with you.” I was shocked, because this name was given to me by Devi when I was eight years old. SHE told this means Loving child. I have told this to Dr Deb only, this gave me clue and I opened the door.
There was a 3year old girl with her mother was passing who came from Kandy. She asked me in singhala “ Meya oyada ammatha?” or is she your mother? I said “no” then asked the LADY who are you? She did not reply. The girls mother asked her what are you talking, no one is there.
SHE went straight to my room and sat in front of Lord Ganapathi’s statue and closed her eyes, SHE sat in nishda for some time. I was confused and scared of Grandma, if she comes will scold me. SHE started to speak, First she said Om then SHE recited Guru mantra “ Guru Brahma Guru Vishnu….” I was going into trance. SHE told you have to learn a lot. SHE started telling about My Past Life. SHE has already told before that I was born in Gujarat India in a Brahmin family.
“SHE was fair complexion, taller and elder to me. SHE was beautiful with merciful eyes. SHE was in yellow sari and wearing Mangalyam, kumkum. SHE was speaking in Sanskrit and broken tamil.”

My past life

SHE said “ I have already told you that you were born in Gujarat in your previous birth in a Brahmin family. You were only child, and you had bad friends. Your behavior was not good. Your father was an Ayurvedic physician. Your family use to make Ayurvedic medicine from many generations. You were cruel to the patient coming to your father’s clinic. Most of the time you used to hide medicine, to harass your parents. You did many bad deeds during 18 -22 years of your life. Your father was very sad and did suicide, your mother also died in few days.
You started realizing your mistake. You accepted ME as your mother. You did lot of social service later. Due to your last birth problem your are suffering now. Other people get more problem. I gave you everything in this birth except realizing from this problem Why? You disturbed other people so this numbness was given by me.
In your previous birth you were searching the reality of life. You went to many places and met many people without getting satisfaction. At last you met Dr Deb and his wife. They guided you and showed you the reality. They were giving your advice and counseling. Mrs. Deb gave great love to you. You started realizing me and ask me if I reborn again and want to know reality send me to them as Guru. I have already told you that he is your guru. When you were suffering last year I have arranged to send you to meet Dr Deb in Jan 2006. First you did not recognize him and after few meeting only you could realized. You did not believe him on the first meeting, all are decided by God.
Don’t you know who is your mother (Mrs V Kailaiyngiricheham or VK) and your brother Gauribalam (G). Your mother was your last birth mother’s cousin sister and G was her son. When your mother died Mrs VK and G looked after you. You asked me to become her daughter in next birth and G as brother. You know that your brother is a very good and always prays for your health and life. Your grand ma was your neighbor in your previous birth they came from Pune to Gujarat. She also loved you.

I asked in my previous birth I was born in India, and why did I born in Jaffna now. Why did you send me to a psychiatric doctor?

SHE replied Jaffna is a good place to get self realization. There is war since 70s you would learn from it more, you saw so many murders, bombasts and lost your father in the war. You have lost your three friends. You could not see your father was a curse for you, since he did suicide in the previous life due to your bad activities. You saw physical suffering of the war. Mental suffering is worse, and to see that I have send you to psychiatrist. After seeing those patients you asked me not to give mental suffering to any one. Don’t you think why did you go to orphanage and elder’s home from your small age, that was also asked by you in your previous birth.

I got a call from Dr Deb, I told him what happened, he was asking is she still there? Is she physical or metaphysical? I was in kitchen to give her cool drink, SHE also entered there. I told Dr Deb can you hear SHe is still speaking, Dr Deb could hear some background sound so I gave mobile to HER, SHE asked in Tamil “Yaru? Yarungo? (Who are you) He told his name in English and asked her to speak in Hindi or English. SHE gave phone to me.
I told Dr Deb about what she was talking. SHE was in the hall, I was talking in my room. When I came to hall she told all the conversation between me and Dr Deb. SHE told me, was he not asking to speak in Hindi? I was shocked.

I told her if SHE is Devi, why she refused to speak to Dr Deb in Hindi? SHE smiled and said “ Vinash kale vipareet buddhi”. She started speaking in Hindi, I was not sure what was SHE speaking so I thought is it Hindi or some other language. SHE said “ Vinash kale vipareet buddhi” (Since I had a doubt in my mind). Then I asked her shall I dial Dr Deb, do you want to talk in Hindi with him, SHE said “Kuchnahi” (means Nothing in Hindi).

Then she started speaking in English and blessed me “This day promote you, encourage you give you stability and strength, love with all auspicious thing in the world….”

Then SHE started looking at the books given by Dr Deb published by Brahmkumari related to God and soul. SHE said why you want to read these books, if you want to know anything I will tell you with explanations. One thing you should know that these centers and peoples are not God, they can guide you to reach us. If you want to know about Hinduism in depth I will teach you step by step.

SHE sat in front of me in Hall and started explaining me in Sanskrit and Tamil. I missed many points because I don’t know Sanskrit.

SHE started teaching: Stages of Life

“Ego sath vibra vabutha vadanthi” three times. First you believe God 100%. Your God may be Shiva, Vishnu or Devi or Jesus Allah or Buddha. This world was given to you by your God you think. Sometime your buddhi think right way but mind not. There are two lives here Lowkik (physical) and Alokik (spiritual). You can continue your spiritual work through Lowkik life. There are four stages : Brahmcharya, Grahasth, Vanprasth and Sanyas. Now you are in Brahmacharya stage. You have done this well, you can study about physical or spiritual subjects. You might have heard stories of Ramayan and Mahabharat, prices were send to their Guru for education about everything they need.
Next stage is Grahasth , you might have heard stories about how to do this stage.
Vanprasth stage they go to forest and pray God, next stage they take Sanyas to get Mukti. But it is not necessary to go through all stages to get mukti in olden time people got mukti even in Grahast stage.

Way to reach GOD
SHE continued, I have already told you there are four pathways to reach God 1. Sariya 2. Kriya 3. Yoga 3. Gyana. Man can reach god by choosing any one of these pathways. Sariya stage the relationship of God and man is like servant and Lord. Kriya stage man is child to God. Yoga stage man is friend to God and Gyan stage man is student to God.

Remember you can select any of these path to reach God. Servant means you do some work for God. Kriya means puja like Brahmins do for God. Yoga you reach God with some distance, but Gyana means you sit near the God and get all explanations form HIS mouth and gesture.

Sariya path give Salokya Mukti. Kriya path give Sameeba mukti, Yoga give Sarupya mukti, and Gyan gives Sayuchiya mukti which is the highest point. All path are given by God and are good, but gyan path is best to realize supreme reality. When you try to reach God through gyana you will get “Atmagyana” from a guru. Most of the time God comes as a Guru.

Now you are the Gyana stage and should improve upon it I will explain everything clearly.

Gayatri Mantra: SHE told that it is for Natural God Savitra which is different from Sun. SHE told the meaning in Tamil

There are four Veda 1. Rig, 2 Yjur, 3 Sam and 4 Atharva. Rig was first and Atharva was last. These were given by god to sage Vasisth, Vamadeva, Atri, Bharadwaj, and Vishvamitra, who ketpt as sruti or memories to disaples.
Rig veda teaches about natural Gods, Indra, Agni, Varun and Chnadra as main character. Lord Shiva and Lord Visnu were minor Gods. Gayatri mantra was used by Hindu as morning prayer since then. Savitur is God who is different from Sun God.

Yajurveda has method of Puja and Ygna. In this Veda there is “Satha rudram” or 100 names of Lord Shiva.
Sama veda has mantra in the form of song. Lord Shiva’s muscical concept is also included.
Atharvaveda has medical therapy, and hypnotherapy.
Each Veda has four parts
1. Samhita; Vedic method in poetry form
2. Brahmanas ; Pooja method
3. Aryanas – stories told by sages in forest
4. Upnishad – is the supreme knowledge, can get this knowledge under guidance of Satguru or God as Guru.
Vedas help at all four stages of people Brahmcharya, Grahasth, Vanaprastha and Sanyas. Everyone may not pass through all these stages but can directly reach Sanyas if they have good Sanskar.
Through these 4 veda, 4 parts and 4 stages one can realize his real self and get Mukti.
1. Dharm, 2. Arth, 3. Kama and 4. Mukti.
Through Dharma one can accumulate material things for happiness but real happiness is inner which gives Mukti.
There is difference between Mukti and Jeevanmukti.
She told about 108 Upanishiad main 20 , Taitriya is important for me. There are 18 Puranas.

SHE entered in my room and saw a book on stress management “ I am Stressed” SHE asked are you stressed? What is your problem? Then she asked me to go to bed and lay down. SHE said
My dearest Dura close your eyes, don’t think or worry about anything. SHE took a peacock feather from our pooja room and started touching me from my head to toe and singing a song “Bo Sambo siva sambothuyanbo “ then she explained about Saptaswara.

She sat in meditation for some time and told that she will explain this in practical way. We were taling in our main hall, she suddenly came towards me over the right ear and told something which I could not hear. She asked whether I could feel feel any vibration and I said yes and my all nerves started vibrating. She told this is the first swara formed by lord Shiva "Sa".
Again she told something and I could feel a vibration which was higher pitch than previous, she told this is "Pa".
Then she hold my left ear and told something which I could hear as "ri", then I could hear ga, ma, dha, ni,. She asked could you make out difference between these two sets of swaras. I said sa, pa have no parts or cannot be discriminated while other do. She told yest normal human can't understand the vibration taught by Lord Shiva.
She asked do you know why sa and pa has no discrimination and others have. I said no. She told these two swaras were formed by Lord shiva as divine sound and other were formed with Panch mahaboota.
She told there are two types of sould (Nada) Ahata and Anahata. Ahaat nada can be understood by normal human but not anahat which was understood by Sage Tyagaraja. I knew this. But she told that all sages cannot understand this without grace of Lord Shiva. Some can feel anahat nada but cannot explain to other. God only can copose this anahat nada. It is a ineer feeling.
Now you have eneted in gyan stage and know what is anahat nada. Me and Lord vishnu realized this from Lord Shiva first . It is a vast subject and this is just introduction.
Then she told to close my eyes and sit in nishad and my body went into trance.
She told if you want to know more you will improve your Gyana stage. Satguru Thyagaraja got this knowledge from Lord Ram.
Music will help to improve your stage.
Then she explained about Lord shiva’s Bharat natyam

Bharat natyam and Lord Nataraja

Lord Siva has taught Bhartanatyam, when he dances it is called Nataraj.
Nataraj form explain five duties of Lord Siva called "Panchkritya"
1. Sristi 2. Sthithi 3. Samhara 4. Throbhava 5. Anugraha
1. Sristi is creation symbolized by Damaru in his hand
2. Sthithi is symbplized by his abhayahara
3. Samhar is destruction smbolized by fire in his another hand
4. His right leg is over a sage Muyalaga whoe degraded Lord Siva once and symbolizes Throbava. Which means to give rebirth till atma realizes and reaches Mukti
5. Left leg on the his left thigh symbolizes Anugraga. Those who realizes throbava Lord Shiv givs Mukti is Anugraga.
Sristhi is due to Maya and goes back to it .
I asked but Sristhi is by Brahma, Sthithi by Vishnu and Samhar by Rudra, how come Lord Shiva doing all.
She replied Lord Shiva designate these duties to five Lords
Sristhi to Lord Brahma, Sthithi to Lord Vishnu, Samhara to Rudra or Shankar, Throbhava to Lord Maheswara, and Anurag to Sadashiva.
She asked don’t you know 108 dance form of Lord Shiva, I said I have seen pictures. She told you can see them, now you know how much you have to study. There are two types of life Lokik and Alokik. If you desire I will help you.
You have to fight with Maya all the time, it will disturb you it has strong power and sometime with ignorance you enter into cluches of Maya. It may take you in seconds, so try to be in touch of Supreem knowledge and God and meditated well

Now a days I apply Vibhuti in the morning and evening. SHE asked me “Why do you apply this?” I told this is a symbol of Lord Shiva. SHE asked do you know any other deeper meaning. I said no. SHE asked what happen to human after death. I said ash. SHE asked what Vibhuti contains. I said some holy things which is burnt during puja. SHE said that is also one type of Ash. It is reminder to us that one day we will also turn into ash.
Then I touched her feet and SHE blessed me with the Mahamritumjaya mantra.
Disappeared in thin air
We were talking in the hall there are two photos one of GoddessLaxmi over HER head and other Ganaoathi opposite side wall. SHE looked at me for some time and I went into trance, SHE asked me to close eyes. I was scared that gramdma may come anytime so I did not close eyes and suddenly SHE disappeared in the Laxmi’s photo.
Within few min grandma came. I served dinner to her and went for sleep. I was totally drained and not feeling like eating. Got up at 9.30am (normally I get up at 6) and without taking tea dressed and went out to find out WHO was SHE.
Discovering Devi
I went to the nearby Devi temple but it was not like HER. Took bus and went to Wellawatta without knowing where I am going. After getting down from the bus walked down the lane which was unknown to me and reached Hanuman temple. First I prayed Lord Ganapathi and then went around and stood in front of Saraswati metal statue. I was shocked since HER face was same like ONE who came yesterday wearing same Yellow sari and kumkum with santhana on her fore head. I was panicked and started chanting “Sagalagal valli sthothiram”. Dr Deb called me that time and I told him everything. I was emotional and started crying. I could not understand why I came to this temple there are other Devi temple in Colombo.
Returned home by one pm, my grandma was waiting. Took a glass of juice and went to bed. Came back in the evening to see Dr Deb and told the whole incidence.

Dear Mother

I was searching you every where, your lotus feet Devi
I think at all time
But the time has come
I was curious to reach
the enterence of Gyana
Sang vedic verses
every yuga yuga
I was searching every where

Kailash Devi
Why do my mind think about you?
What is the maya?
Is this a maya?

There is a change in my dream and real life
But I can see you in all changes
If your mercyfull eyes look me
My all sins and karma will fly
You are dancing in my mind
I think about you every seconds
Why do mind think about you?

More about Tandava Dance
19th June 2007

I asked excuse from Dr Deb and Dr Venketesh. At night she taught me more about Tandava dance form. SHE told there are 108 Tandava dance form, you can see them directly if you improve your stage. I asked about Maheshwar and Sadashiva form, I have seen other form in the temple. SHE showed Maheswar form, it has four hand and one head and legs are like Daksinamurthy. Then SHE showed me Sadashiva form it has five heads and tem hands and legs were like Dakshinamurthy. It is difficulty to see them from Lord Shiva now by you.
Then SHE explained seven Tandava explaining five duties of Lord Shiva. You can see only Panchakrithya because it was given by HIM in happy mood.
1. Srikalika Tandava – Sristhi
2. Sri gauri and
3. Sanithya Tandava - Sthithi
4. Samhar Tandava – Samhara
5. Tripura Tandava – Trobava
6. Oordhav Tandava – Anugraha
7. Anantha thandava – all five duties

When Lord Shiva started dancing Rudra Tandava, those 107 forms are given then I controlled him and at the end Ananth Tandava was given showing all five duties.
I requested HER to show atleast six Tandava form. SHE said you will not able to tolerate them due to low energy. Other 107 Tandava were given in Agora stage. You cannot tolerate or see with your physical eyes. You already know Shiva’s Agora form in Rudravam. Lord Shiva sits in Nistha. If you want to know you should improve your mind. You know about Kama thangana ( Lord Shiva burnt Kamdeva who disturbed his Nistha) in Rudra Agora stage.

I am stubborn from my childhood and wanted to know those dance form in spite of HER advising me. I have seen one form and wanted to see six more. I have never seen Devi in Agora or angry form. I have seen her at the end of Navaratri her Mahisasur mardini form but she smiled and blessed me. At last SHE told me experience is the best teacher and went off.
I talked with grandma and slept. Suddenly I saw huge size fiery God or Giant or Ghost I can’t explain from floor to roof. I could see only Damaru in HIS hand which was surrounded by fire. It has no physical feature; suddenly one leg started moving towards its head. I shouted amma, amma. I thought Yamaduta has come to take my grandma, and then I fainted.
Next day at 1pm I opened my eyes, my body felt so tired, had fever. Grandma was chanting “Kanthasasthi Kavacham” and gave me a cup of coffee with Panadol and sprinkled water on my face. I asked what happened. She told why did you shout at night, did you see a ghost. I was trying to wake you up from the morning, you have fever so I did not disturb you. She sprinkled some holy water from Devi temple, and was chanting “Kanthasasthi Kavacham” since morning. I had fever till next day.
I was surprise to find a statue of Nataraja and a metal lamp sent by one of my friend Mattakilya who saw me asking Nataraj satue when she was sleeping last night. She is learing Bharatnatam and pray Lord Nataraja. She got it for me from Trichi India.
I prayed that satatue and asked pardon from Devi and HIM. During evening meditation Devi showed me a Mudra “Nirekshan” thumb touching little and ring finger and index and middle finger extended. SHE said you got “gurupavai” means inspecting students while teaching a group of students, one who is interested in getting supreme knowledge. I have already told you that you don’t have enough energy to see Rudram form.
Dakshinamuthi form has one of these things Sadabara, Sadabanda and Sadamandala, Sadamukuta. You must first try to know them. Knowing them you will know 108 Tandava form. Now you have experienced, too much of anything is not good.
I asked excuse from her and told that SHE knows me well and can give what SHE feels best form me, I want to live under your lotus feet.
I came on 22nd June Asthami for Lord Nataraj and gave the statue as present to Dr Deb.

Sapta Mata Darshan ( 25th-26th June )

26 of June [Tuesday].my mother was worried about our problem and told some incidents to me. (We have a new car at Jaffna given by my uncle to my brother after he passed first year first class. One day it was taken by Army Commander and never returned back)
At nigh I saw a different form of devi. who had human body but face was like an animal, her two hands were abaya muthra and the other two were looks like abaya muthra but, fingertips were down position. She was in pink color sari. She told ''thura don't worry about physical matters, .if you worry about it you can't reach your goal I decide all. your mother will get good things very soon. all are Maya. first try to understand this. I’ll help your mother. don’t worry about her. through you she will get good things soon.'' suddenly I felt our floor started to separate in two parts. she entered in that distance .I prayed her. I thought that SHE was chamundi.
I told this to Dr.Deb on 27th of June. on 28th of June [Thursday] I was fasting. at night before I go to bed started to pray chamundi. I heard a sound from our floor. I got up from bed and kept my ear on the floor, where Chamundi entered on Tuesday. I started to sleep on floor with mat. could hear some.''thura don't say chamundi .that was Vaaraahi. who is one of saptamata.
Saptamata protect the world, .I’ll show those forms.’ at that moment one mata who came on tuesday appeared.she said''she is Vaaraahi.''she wore the same pink color sari . then she disappeared .another mata came with white color sari. she sat on swan. she also had four hands. which had Vedas, pearl gallant ,kamandala, and one ayutham. she said ''this is brahmi''. she disappeared with in few minutes .then one mata came with red color saree. she sat on rishaba. her hands had damaruga ,trisoola ,and abayahara, she said ''this is maheswary''. other one came, she wore green color sari on peacock, her hands had abayahara, velayutha, and 2 other ayuthas, she said ''this is Kowmary''. other one came with yellow color sari, on Garud, her hands had Shankha ,Chakra, kathayutha and abayahara. she said ''this is vaishnavi''. .Next one came with orange color sari, her hands had skull ,lotus, and abayahara , she said ''this is chamundi'' finally a mata came with blue color sari on elephant.[white color elephant]Her hands had 2 ayuthas and abayahara SHE was Indrani.
Then all suptamatas came at the same time and went round me and blessed me I worshiped. them Now I have started to sleep on floor with mat.
On 2nd July some happened in jaffna.3rd of July my mother asked to do meditation .live with spiritual activities except my sanyasa night vaaraahi came again and explain what happened to my mother in jaffna. now she started to go a hanuman's temple .that is also an interesting incident .on 4th of july I got some hindu philosophical matters.
Dr Deb also did not know, it is not there even Devi Bhagavatam. He called me later and told that in Varaha puran there is a story of Demon Andhakasur is there and Lord Shiva ask to produce Astha Matrikas to kill him 1.Yogeshwari by Lord Shiva 2.Brahmi by Brahma 3. Vaishnavi by Lord Vishnu 4. Maheswari by Lord Rudra 5. Kuamari by Kartikaya 6. Yami by Yama 7.Indrani by Indra and 8. Varahi by Lord Varah form of Lord Vishnu. Could not find any reference of Saptamata except one temple in TN having statue of it.

5th of july a lady spoke with me about you(Deb). Ii thought that was your mother.but her physical features wasn't like you.her facecut also different from you.but that person like you alot it might be your aunt or relatives.but she understand your spiritual life.her skin color is higher than you,i thought that was dream.but on 7th also she spoke.i could hear her voice.i have no experience like this.i never spoke with a human being except my father,but i could hear my father's voice only.i couldn't see many incidents happened as the way i didn't expect.

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